Lonely

i'm damn fed up with having to sms delta o5 and not even 10 of you even bother to reply my sms.
just what exactly is wrong with you ppl!?
kena snapped(sort of) at sam b4 dinner so i started sms-ing ppl abt cadets night tmr.
it's like so fucked up la.
no one bothers to reply me so i'm seriously wondering why the fuck do i even give a shit about sms-ing u guys?
i'm really having 2nd thoughts over the chalet you know.
somehow i dun think it'll pull thru.
with everyone so caught up in their own little lives to not even bother to sms me or heck,even bother to help me with my juggling sch work here so badly.
you guys do realise i carn run this whole stupid thing on my own here you know?
but do you guys care? NO.
when that time the chalet in june din happen it's cos everyone just shoved the work to me and when it din happen everyone just went like "i was so looking forward to it!" blah blah blah.
wat the heck do they even take me for?
somehow i wonder if that friendship,bond is there anymore.
i so want to give up on you guys now.
i mean if you want smth to happen god dammit do smth abt it la.
nobody gives a shit anymore,no one even god damn respect me as a person to even bother replying my smses.
is saying yes,i'm gg or no i'm not gg so hard to even begin with?
haiya,if one day i ever give up on delta anymore,dun blame me.
it's inevitable with the way everyone is acting.
to think i even called you guys as one of the most impt thing in my life.
when we meet up for part dinners all the jc ppl just talk abt their own little happy jc lives.
and where does that live ppl like me and sH?
she doesn't even want to come for anymore of such gatherings becos we're like totally invinsible ppl there la.
it's as if the reason i'm only there for is to inform or sms ppl.
everyone just takes for granted that paula will organise smth.
wat the hell am i? some kind of event organiser or watever?
and if you totally disagree with me,go reflect man.
many times a day i wonder how many true friends do i really have.
be it from cresent,sp and watever.
i really think if i'm just here on earth for a short stop and nothing else.
call me watever but i think i'm just damn unwanted la.
everyone just treats me as tho i'm there to do all the work only.
be it family,delta and sp frens.
sigh.
pathetic life.
-.